Desperate Times

Warning! Graphic photos. Sorry.

A while ago, like a month, I was trying to get dinner ready.

Having 2 kids and a newborn make that hard.

Baby T wanted to be held all day, so I had him in the carrier.

I was doing okay with dinner, then he decided he was hungry too.

Enter Super Mom Genius.

Feed baby... in the carrier... while making dinner. 

Yup. I did that. 

I was finally making dinner, (a real one!) and I was desperate.

I was hungry too and wanted dinner to be done on time, not an hour late.

I am sure it has been done before, but I felt like Super Mom.

It doesn't take much when you only get 4-6 hours of sleep.

What can I say. Desperate times.

Secret Crush

I have a secret Mom crush on this lady. Especially her stuff on motherhood. Perhaps she reminds me of my own family growing up. 5 kids, lots of brothers, crazy house, yea maybe. She is a sister of one of my old roommates. I have actually met her once, but I am sure she doesn't know much of me. That's okay. We can just keep my crush a secret.
I loved this post she did. I think it is because I am so impatient to get to the next stage. I keep going and doing and feel like I get nothing done. Right now just getting a shower is good day and sometimes is the only thing that gets done. I know, I know, Capri is only a month old. Still so small and I feel like I am missing her growing up already! I WANT to be treasuring all the little things that I get to do and both kids being small. But, I want some more sleep too. I hope I get the camera out tomorrow and don't miss it all. Anyway, I just love what Jen has to say about it.

If Momma Aint Happy...

I am such a bad mom when I don't feel good. I only have a headache. And it was self inflicted as Josh would say. I ate some canned cheese, yea, I should have known better. The point is that Rome is so tired and cranky today and I just can't handle it. I don't feel good either. My patience is gone. Josh is holding him while he screams (because I am not holding him) because he just pulled out a handful of hair and I was done. I came in here to calm down. He took 3 naps today, but none of them left him happy and playful. He has a little cough, but nothing bad. I did watch my friends kids today again. Maybe that helped his mood. They aren't hard to watch. The other little girl was tired and didn't take her nap, but I was fine. Until 4:30. It was waaay too early for Baby to be clingy and tired, but he was. It doesn't help that I have been in a listless mood all week. I am hoping that decorating for Christmas will help. I haven't gotten through the laundry to even get the boxes out. I was so glad to be done with all of my Cristmas shopping and ready for the fun stuff. Singing and cookies and friends and excitement. Yea, its not here yet. Still hoping...

Dear Mother

I wanted to take Jaley's challenge and post something that I am thankful for everyday. I was kind of glad I read her blog because I feel like I have been complaining on my blog a lot just to have something to post. Yes, I am a complainer. I know it. I am also very sarcastic. I try to work on those. Well, I also came across this blog that is compiling Dear Mother Letters for his wife for Christmas. I LOVED it! So, I decided to combine them. If you want a good cry check out this site and maybe send one of your own.

Dear Mother,

I love you so much. I always have. I have not always liked you however. There was a time that I was very angry at you. I did not understand why you did things. I did not like what I had to do. I was so hurt that I didn't have a choice. But, that is what you get. You don't get to choose your parents, or your children. I had to learn to like what you did. I had to look at my experiences through your eyes. I see now that what I had to do, made me who I am . I needed those experiences to be what I am now. I learned to listen and follow directions. I learned to be a leader and take control of a situation. I learned how to make things fun even when I did not think they were fun. I learned to control my temper so that I could teach others how to. I learned how to do things for myself. I learned to not be afraid even when everything tells me that it is scary. I learned to trust whole-heartedly in a man who is a little crazy, because you do. I learn that no matter how messed up a thing can be somehow it works out. I learned that no matter how many leftovers you see go into dinner, you must taste it before you decide it is disgusting. It turns out delicious every time. I learned to experiment with things just to see if I can make them work. I learned that hard work is very important. I learned that you can get anything you want if you work hard enough, have a plan and go in the right direction. I had to learn how to be friends with you. We are very different people. Sometimes I don't think you understand me very well, but that is okay. I understand you and love you anyway.

I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted to do it differently. I wanted to be there and do things for my children. I wanted to show them that I could do it better. I told my friends that I wanted to mess them up my way because I was messed up. Ha! That is pretty funny now. I never knew how hard it would be. I never realized how much heartache and worry would come with it. I am so glad you are here to help me. I rely on your expertise and advice. You did raise 6 children after all. I thought I worked hard before. I work hard now. I thought I had forgiven you before, but I understand now. My son is only 6 months old. Yet, I know what a sleepless night is like. I know how your heart hurts when you don't know why they are crying. I know how isolated you feel when your only conversation is one syllable sounds all day long. I know how it makes friends and relatives more important that ever. I know how proud you feel when they do something new all by themselves. I know there is a long way to go and I am looking forward to it. I wanted this. I wanted it all. The good parts are really good and the bad parts make you remember the good ones even more. Thank you Mom. Thank you for being my Mom. Thank you for messing things up and showing me that it is okay. Because I am going to mess things up sometimes and he will be okay. He won't know the difference.

I have to say my favorite thing about being a mother is the way he looks at me. He stares at me like I am the most perfect person in the world. And for him I probably am. It humbles me. I want to be the best mother to him because he already loves me like I am. I had a friend who would tease me that I would have a "momma's boy". I would protest and think I did not want one of those. Now, he is here and I don't mind so much. He just loves and needs me. It is a confidence boost everyday. Like he can do anything as long as I hold him. The world is wonderful as long and I am behind him. I only hope I gave some of this to my Mother. I can do anything and go anywhere becasue she is there to come back to.

Love, Jocie

Just Thinking

I was just thinking of how I miss my little guy being little. He is not that big yet, but he used to be so little! I miss him nursing for half an hour every couple hours. I miss him just sleeping. Yea, sleeping is nice. I miss him being happy wherever I put him or wherever we were. I think it is funny only because he is just in the other room kicking away. (He is still on his sleeping strike and, after talking to my friend who went through the same thing with her little boy, I have decided that he needs to learn to put himself to sleep again. So, he is in his crib because it is nap time and he is tired AND he is playing and crying and NOT sleeping. Oh, well. He will get it sooner or later) I just think it is funny that I can miss him when he is here. I do not miss him needing me to hold, rock and juggle him every minute of the day. He is tired and cranky and I am tired and cranky and he won't go to anybody else. I like that he likes me and wants me, but being needed All The Time is HARD work. Oh, being a mother is not what I thought it would be.

Yes, I cut out my entire family.
Turns out I have NO pictures of just Rome and I. NONE. sad.