I Give Up

Yea. I am so behind. I want to post on Christmas (we went to Tucson) and New Years (we did nothing), Second Christmas (late in Jan), snowstorms (and building snowmen with Daddy), Gym challenge (umm dumb), new diets (lost 6 lbs!), Wedding trips to Denver (bring MORE snacks for the kids), Capri's Birthday (is she really One?) and her party (only one person came)....BUT... I just don't see those things happening. I have the pictures. They will get scrapbooked one day. Maybe by the time my kids move out. Anyway.
I was feeling fat. Joined my gym's challenge. It stunk. Paid an arm-and-leg for my Mom's trainer and I love him. Lost 6 lbs. Still felt bleh. Watched a movie, got sick and got some perspective. I feel much better. I am so blessed that I am able to stay home. I can be sick and not go anywhere for a week (or two) and be so happy about it. I have all of this TIME to spend with my babies until they grow up and get big and don't want to spend it with me anymore. Maybe it was the forced time together or the nothing on my To-Do list that got me thinking about What in the World am I DOING? Am I spending time with my kids, playing and teaching? Or am I just doing stuff for them and not with them. Maybe I am so unhappy because I keep thinking about ME and not about THEM. I keep thinking about the laundry and groceries and dinner and cleaning and errands and why are these kids in my way all the TIME! Yea, I do that. But this week I felt better. I let it all go. I am still sick, but the house doesn't look so dirty, the laundry didn't take so much time, the errands weren't so important. I didn't mind that I nothing to do but play on the floor with blocks, read books and toddle around the house. I feel a lot more relaxed and better about myself. I just hope I remember this and maybe lose a few more pounds too.