Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Give Up

Yea. I am so behind. I want to post on Christmas (we went to Tucson) and New Years (we did nothing), Second Christmas (late in Jan), snowstorms (and building snowmen with Daddy), Gym challenge (umm dumb), new diets (lost 6 lbs!), Wedding trips to Denver (bring MORE snacks for the kids), Capri's Birthday (is she really One?) and her party (only one person came)....BUT... I just don't see those things happening. I have the pictures. They will get scrapbooked one day. Maybe by the time my kids move out. Anyway.
I was feeling fat. Joined my gym's challenge. It stunk. Paid an arm-and-leg for my Mom's trainer and I love him. Lost 6 lbs. Still felt bleh. Watched a movie, got sick and got some perspective. I feel much better. I am so blessed that I am able to stay home. I can be sick and not go anywhere for a week (or two) and be so happy about it. I have all of this TIME to spend with my babies until they grow up and get big and don't want to spend it with me anymore. Maybe it was the forced time together or the nothing on my To-Do list that got me thinking about What in the World am I DOING? Am I spending time with my kids, playing and teaching? Or am I just doing stuff for them and not with them. Maybe I am so unhappy because I keep thinking about ME and not about THEM. I keep thinking about the laundry and groceries and dinner and cleaning and errands and why are these kids in my way all the TIME! Yea, I do that. But this week I felt better. I let it all go. I am still sick, but the house doesn't look so dirty, the laundry didn't take so much time, the errands weren't so important. I didn't mind that I nothing to do but play on the floor with blocks, read books and toddle around the house. I feel a lot more relaxed and better about myself. I just hope I remember this and maybe lose a few more pounds too.

3 comments:

Richards Family said...

It is great to stay home and I love when we can just get out of our own way to be with the kids! I hope you all are feeling better very soon.

Chad, Mindy and girls said...

You know Jocie, don't forget that we all love you whether you post about Christmas or not...Hope you feel better soon! Put a smile on your face and enjoy every little moment, because before you know it they aren't toddlers anymore!! You will miss these days, I promise :)

Jana said...

Jo...this has been on my mind a lot lately too. I was thinking of the new primary song from a couple years ago: "God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be." And I wondered if I'm using this blessing to become what He wants me to be...am I parenting with purpose, or am I just getting through each day and DEALING with my kids? I think I spend a lot of my day reacting instead of acting. Anyway, I loved reading this post. It was so familiar...