My Soapbox

WARNING!! This post contains my opinions and they may make you angry and want to kick me. So, if you do not want to hear it and possibly start fuming from your ears DO NOT read on!! I warned you!!

I read another blog today. Yes, I was blog stalking again. (Twice in two days, what is going on?!) Well, this girl had a lovely post about how she has an extra 10 lbs left after having a beautiful baby girl. She very politely told her baby fat to go away and the part that got me was it had been 12 weeks. YES! 12! And ONLY 1o lbs! I was happy when I started losing weight right away after having Rome, however I have a VERY different opinion.
When Rome was born I thought that my job right now is to take care and nurture this little person that I was blessed with. Yes, I feel fat and lumpy. Yes, I do not feel even close to normal. I just hope it gets better and I feel better sometime.
I did start to feel better. It did get more normal to have him around. No, I didn't lose weight. And I didn't care. I just bought some trusty Wal-Mart clothes and did my best to care for my baby. I wasn't going to buy super expensive trendy clothes (I don't like them anyway) because I knew I would not be this size forever. I have to eventually fit into my old clothes again, or else, I will just keep buying clothes that fit until I have a new wardrobe. Whichever comes first. I totally did not worry about dieting. I tried to eat healthy, but not real hard. I was more worried about having enough milk and eating things that did not bother him. I had to add a snack in the afternoon and cut out milk and yogurt. After that Rome was happy and I was too.
Then, my sister-in-law decided to start a biggest loser diet and workout thing. I thought she was crazy and I still do. She just had a baby 3 weeks prior.
I do however, have to thank her profusely. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I really don't think I would have started working out had you not done this. I only started walking 3 times a week for maybe 30 minutes, but it helped. I actually started losing weight. I didn't diet. I am no good at it. The more I try, the more I cheat and it does not work. I really only cut out ice cream. (and I DO miss it! I am totally having some for my birthday next week. And I don't care!) I do not lose weight easily. I started running and it took me a year and a half to START losing weight. Yea, I was convinced that this would not work. I am still very surprised that I am continuing to go down. I was perfectly happy to stay at 170 forever. (180 was not so cool though) I am so happy to wear my old clothes again and I honestly felt like I was back in college when I could put on my old jeans and my SUU T-shirt. My girls have not gone down. I had to buy bigger shirts to accomodate them. I am sure that I will lose 5 lbs when I stop nursing. My girls are HUGE! Still! And, I now have a belly. Okay, it probably isn't that big, but Autumn I totally understand now. Okay, I got sidetracked.
My point was that I don't care what I look like. I don't care if I have 10, 20 or 30 extra lbs left. I have a baby to show for it and I need to take care of him right now. Now, I won't not care forever. I like wearing my old jeans and looking good. But it comes second. My baby comes first. Always.